Katy - I Never Realized how Smart you had to be to Work as a Nurse

Katy -







When I was three years old my little cousin was born a preemie. He was in the neo-natal intensive care unit at Tacoma General. I would go visit him a couple of times a week with my mom. And from then on, I wanted to be nurse.

I know it sounds pretty incredible, but I would actually ask if we could go eat lunch at the hospital and look at the babies. I would also play mommy and nurse as I was growing up. I would be the mommy and walk my baby to the doctor in the stroller and then I would change into a nurse. I would make needles out of diaper pins and I’d poke my doll. I have this book that lists for every year what I wanted to be when I grew up and 90 percent of the time I said I wanted to be a nurse that takes care of babies. There were a couple of years when I said I wanted to be a doctor, teacher, or mommy. But I always really wanted to be a nurse. I’m currently certified in neo-natal nursing and work in an intensive care unit.

There is nothing else I could imagine getting up to do everyday. I love helping people, and I love taking care of babies.

My first impressions of nursing were that it wasn’t as glamorous and as easy as I thought it was going to be. I thought I was going to get to feed people and feed babies. I didn’t realize how much math and critical thinking was involved in being a nurse. I had the fantasy of Florence Nightingale just making the bed, giving the patient their porridge and telling them good night. It’s not like that. So I had a bit of a reality shock at first.

In the beginning I almost passed out a million times. But as I got into my job I felt like I was embracing my patients more and feeling as if they were my family members, my grandparent or my mom. I started thinking about how I would want my family member to be treated and that helped me to connect with the patients and their families. I finally realized the job was hard, but that it was wonderful at the same time.

I was also afraid I would make a mistake. I couldn’t sleep at night for the first three years out of nursing school. "There is nothing else I could imagine getting up to do everyday."I kept worrying and thinking how horrible it would be if I made a mistake or hurt someone, or even worse, killed someone. I worked only in the intensive care unit. It was very complicated. The patients and medications were complex. I worked under pressure and everything had to be calculated just right. I’ve seen a lot of nurses who started out in our unit and couldn’t do the work because they were too afraid.

Eventually, with the support from the older nurses in my unit, I overcame the fear. I relied a lot on my peers. I asked questions like “Have you ever done this?” or “What happens if this happens?” I discovered that we all learn from our mistakes and the best we can do is use our knowledge to be as safe as possible. The first few years in the neo-natal intensive care unit I would say to myself, “Oh, wouldn’t it be nice to just work at Hallmark where all you have to do is point out where the birthday cards are.”

I think I’ve made it through those tough, early years in my job because I work in a unit where the older nurses are amazing and helpful and we’re all great friends. I know that some people think that we’re heading for a shortage of experienced nurses. I think that is sad. I’ve noticed that in every other unit where I’ve done clinicals, besides the NICU, the older nurses are crotchety and not helpful and they eat their young. They are giving the new nurses a bad impression of how a nurse really should act.

I talk to other people who are thinking about nursing. They ask, “Do you think I should be a nurse because there are a lot of jobs available?” I tell them that is not why they should go into nursing. A person needs to go into nursing because they really want to make a difference and help people and change lives. The people who go into it just because of job security or the money will be burned out in ten years.

I met this student who came to our unit for her senior practicum. She wouldn’t pay any attention to my instruction. She wasn’t enthusiastic; never smiled. It felt like she didn’t want to be there. So, I asked her why she wanted to be a nurse. She said, “I don’t – my parents decided that I was going to be a nurse.” It was evident to me without even asking the question that what she said was true. She had no passion for the job as all.

I finally told this student that I didn’t think she was cut out to be a nurse. Oh, really?” she said, “Because I really have good grades.” I told her it wasn’t about the grades, it was about having passion and caring about the babies she was taking care of. You don’t think I care?” she asked. No, I don’t. I don’t think you care at all.” When her advisor asked me how she was doing I answered honestly and said I didn’t think she should be a nurse and that she was definitely not ready to graduate. We gave her a few more months, but finally her instructor told her that it was time for her to go and that she would not be graduating this semester.

I felt like I did nursing a service that day.

Power Strategies: Integrity, Passion, Caring, Honesty
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