Nursing is Nourishing - A Serendipitous and Heartfelt Conversation

Dawn and Terry

“Terry was early and Dawn stayed late. This was an opportunity for a conversation between a nurse with 26 years of experience and a woman who just decided to enter into a nursing career. They talked about their thoughts, fears, and challenges. Dawn is the woman who just decided to change her career to nursing and had just applied to nursing school. Terry is the experienced nurse.” – Terry Taylor

Dawn:  I have a question about your feelings and observing people in pain; even being confronted with death.  How do you allow yourself to feel enough so you have that sense of being compassionate and empathetic without taking everything on and letting all of the grief and sadness wear you down?

Terry:  I believe it is a skill you develop after you’ve experienced it a few times.  Often, when someone does have a terrible experience and there is a death, there will be a debriefing with the people that were involved and you can get some support.  You might say, “This one’s just doing me in. I’m really having a hard time dealing with it and I got connected with this family and this patient and it’s almost like my own father has just died.”  

I see it as a chance to grow personally.  I have to realize that people who are going through tragedy need someone and, as an outside person, I can see the situation more clearly than those in the middle of it.  I have come to realize that this is what I do and what I do helps people.  Some stories will linger longer than others and when you feel sad you just have to work through it.  You will find that a lot of your co-workers will listen and help you with your own grief, and then you have to let it go.

Dawn:  I never really pictured the fact that you aren’t doing this alone.  Of course there are people around you experiencing the same circumstance.

Terry:  You’re never alone.  That’s one of the best things about nursing.  When I started working I felt a tremendous amount of responsibility to do everything well and right.  But even to this day I can go to one of my co-workers and say, “You know what? I need you.  Can you come help me with this?”

Dawn:  With all the sorrow and grief and trials and tribulations, how do you take care of yourself?

Terry:   I get burned out sometimes, and I get tired.  But there are a couple of things I do on a regular basis.  I try to get enough sleep and I take a nap every day when I get home from work.  I really guard that nap - it’s precious.  There are days when it doesn’t happen but they are few and far between.  I work 5:30 to 2:00 and then I go home and rest.  Some days when I wake up, I read.  I might read a spiritual book or some other book I’m enjoying.  I try to eat right and exercise and stay strong and be healthy.  I also try to keep things in perspective.  It’s easy to let a bad attitude take over, but that will destroy everything and make you miserable.

I have realized that I have an opportunity to touch lives in a really significant way and that a patient might walk away and have his or her life be different because of a moment they experienced while in my care.  I like that feeling – it’s very healing for me.

Nursing is nourishing.  There is taking care of other people and then there’s giving something to another person that just comes through you.  That kind of giving is above and beyond your knowledge.

Dawn:  In the body chakra system, the heart energy is transmitted through the hands.  So when you’re holding somebody’s arm and you’re touching them like that, your heart energy and their heart energy are connecting. Is it like that?

Terry:  Nursing is something that really has to come from your heart or you’re wasting your time.  I had a patient tell me the other day, “I just feel better that you were here with me today.  There are nurses and then there are nurses.  Some nurses really shouldn’t be nurses, and thank you.”

Dawn:  What would you tell somebody who, at almost age 50, is about to go to nursing school?  What is the most important piece of advice you would give?

Terry:  I would definitely say, do it.  I think you’ve got a lot of years left and there are so many areas where you can apply your nursing knowledge even if you’re not physically able to work with patients in a clinical setting.   There is such a need for nurses right now.  Your life experiences will be very beneficial.  There are things you will bring to nursing those young nurses fresh out of college haven’t developed yet.

Dawn:  Am I crazy for making this change?

Terry:  No, I really don’t think so.  I’ve seen other nurses around your age come right in and advance in their career very quickly.  You sound clear that you want to do this.  You may even find out down the road that what you are doing in your current job and the nursing will mesh at some point.  They’re always looking for depth in nurses to do bigger things and move on.  When you take experience like yours and then add the nursing, you become more valuable.

Working directly with patients is really the best way to understand the profession.  Then wherever else you go you will be able to reflect back on the basics of nursing.  The basic include an understanding of what it takes to care for people and how to make connections with people you don’t know in a very short period of time.  To let them know “I’m just here for you and we’re here to deal with what you’re going through right now.”  It’s also about understanding the pressures that nurses are up against with safety, quality, and accuracy.

Nurses need to be able to assess how much the patient wants to be connected.  Some patients are not interested in having you be involved in their life in any way.

Your assessment starts immediately when you meet someone, usually through the hellos and how are you and what’s the most important thing I can do for you today?  Those questions aren’t too personal, but still you’re getting something.  By asking a few questions I can find out if they need me to leave them alone or if they need me to make sure they are never alone.  Do they want their family involved or do they want me to buffer them from the family.  Being able to connect at a level that makes the patient comfortable, and helping the patient with whatever they want and need, renews my spirit.  When I leave work, sometimes I’m physically and emotionally drained from the day, but I also have a feeling of satisfaction that, I’ve made a difference, I got paid for it, and I did a good job.  That’s a good feeling.

I wish you all the best in your new career.
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