Mandy - Learning in a NICU

Mandy -







Working in a neonatal ICU is a real challenge. Especially as a new nurse, I had so much to remember, so much to know, because many things can go wrong with a newborn baby. It took me a long time to develop my skills and my judgment, but eventually things began to flow naturally. It just took time. Once I got more comfortable, I could think more easily, and know how to care for babies and their families more skillfully. But at first it was overwhelming.

Sometimes I could catch a problem with a patient before anyone else. That was amazing. Once I was transitioning a c-section baby, and I discovered an arrhythmia. After a work-up, it was determined the baby was fine and went home on schedule. I felt good because I had acted in a medical role by listening to the baby's heart, like every nurse should. From then on, I listened to infants' hearts with the memory of that incident always with me.

I had some supportive preceptors who helped me through the process of adjusting, and I'll always treasure those relationships. But some other people around me were not always helpful. They expected me to know everything right away--at least that's how it felt to me. I got a few rude comments, such as, "You should know this by now." That was hard to hear.

I also heard encouraging words, which were priceless. Both experienced and inexperienced nurses have told me, "It's gonna be OK, and you're gonna get through this day." Hearing that in the middle of a frustrating or difficult shift makes a huge difference. When I have a supportive group of nurses and doctors around me, I feel empowered.

In our NICU unit, nurses have a lot of autonomy. The doctors trust us to do the right thing, which makes us want to work even harder, to do an even better job. In a good unit, the doctors respect the nurses, especially as they get to know us over time. The camaraderie that develops is wonderful, and it makes for less of a power struggle. I know that tension and clashes do happen, but in my unit we work well together.

What drew me to nursing in the first place, is simple: helping people. I know that's a cliché, but it's true. I try to make a difference to a patient or family during every shift. I want to know that someone's experience in the hospital will be better because of how I cared for them. To transform a traumatic time in a family's life into something positive, or at least bearable--that's my mission.

It gives me joy to help someone through a hard time. With the babies, I can make them calm or take away their pain."It's gonna be OK, and you're gonna get through this day." With families, I can do more: like encourage them to laugh about something, maybe. I can listen while they share what they're feeling. I'm a stranger, their baby's nurse, so when they open up to me, it's a privilege. But when they begin to trust me, I feel good about myself.

When my best friends delivered their baby girl two months early, she had multiple anomalies and ended up in my NICU. All of a sudden the roles changed and I wasn't a nurse there. I was an outsider, looking for answers to unanswerable questions. I had a glimpse at what parents must feel when their baby is in intensive care. She lived for almost three days, with unfailingly loving and gentle attention from the nurses. I'm so grateful my friends and my god-daughter received that kind of care. More than I can say.

I'm not working as a nurse right now, because I resigned to stay home and take care of my kids. After they all get in school full time, I'll go back to nursing. But for now, I want to focus on my family. My husband is a policeman, and he understands about my job. Working at the NICU, I saw some of the same people he had seen. Some of my moms were down- and-out; some were drug addicts he had encountered in his work.

Nurses and policemen are both trying to make a difference, in our own ways. My husband thinks of his work as protection, not punishment. Just like I protected the little ones in the NICU. Those babies were in my care, and I did the best I could to help them so they can grow up healthy. That's what I want for our own kids, and that's what I try to do for their kids.

Power Strategies: Making a Difference, Family, Humor
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