Patricia - I’m not Afraid to say what I Mean

Patricia -







I’ve worked for 24 years with moms and babies. Actually, my experience began before my career. Growing up I had parents who were caring, nurturing role models. I was the oldest child, so I helped care for my little brother and sister. I always knew I’d be in a caring profession – even though Mom didn’t think I could stand the blood.

I’m proud to say I’ve learned to handle both the blood and the heartache. The heartache occurs when you want so badly to help people; then you realize they have to want your help for change to happen.

I once worked in a prenatal clinic for underserved patients. It was the last resort for people nobody else would take because they were on drugs or couldn’t pay. One young girl already had two babies, and when she tested positive with a third child, I asked her about birth control.“It’s not fair for me to say one thing when I’m facing you and something totally different when I’m away from you.” She said she was too busy taking care of her two babies to use birth control. I asked about her partner, because she was not married. She said he was fantastic, but I told her he was not fantastic if he wasn’t taking responsibility for birth control. I asked about her family. Her sister had recently died and her mom, who was five years younger than me, was in a nursing home with emphysema. Her dad was in rehab. As we talked the story got worse and worse. She had nobody in her corner. I asked her what her life goals were. She said she wanted to complete school and someday be more than a mother. I hope she hung on to that dream.

I left that clinic two weeks later because I couldn’t take another day of those stories.

Another time a teenage girl came into the clinic – I get teary just thinking about this. She was infuriated when she discovered she was pregnant. She didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially me, so as she sat in the corner of the room and fumed, I talked to her boyfriend instead. I told him, “One pregnancy doesn’t have to ruin you. You can go on. You can have a life, but you have to be consistent with your birth control so you don’t get pregnant again, until you’re ready.” They left and I could tell she was still very angry.

The next day she returned and asked to see me. She grabbed me and gave me a big hug. She said, “I really appreciate what you said yesterday, and my dad is here with me and he just wants to know where we can go to take care of this.” It was like someone gave me a million dollars. Memories of patients like her keep me going when I’ve had a bad day. I’m sure when she tested positive for pregnancy, she felt hopeless. I believe I gave her hope somehow. I often remind myself to look past the hurtful or angry things that patients say or do – like the girl acting angry and pretending she was ignoring me. I just keep doing my job, because I never know when I might make an impression on someone. I did it for her, even though I could have sworn she didn’t hear a word I said.

I’m outspoken when it comes to dealing with co-workers as well. Sometimes I intimidate people because I’m so up front. Personally, I wish more people were outspoken. One of my supervisors once told me, “Pat, I love you, because I know where I stand with you.” I believe it’s not fair to say one thing when I’m facing you and something totally different when I’m not.

Nursing is much more than I ever thought it would be. As a nurse I feel my knowledge gives me power to help and change so many lives. While developing my expertise, I’ve learned to manage myself, my patients, and my relationships with my co-workers. I nurture myself with relaxing vacations to places that allow me to escape the tragedies I see everyday. I’ve developed my sense of humor and keep it with me at all times. Sometimes I break down and bring out the tissue and have a good, long cry. I think everyone in the medical profession needs to encourage each other. If we feel happy, then we’ll give better care to the patients, and we’ll be nicer to ourselves and each other.

Power Strategies: Courage, Expertise, Humor
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