Lynn - Know when to Fold Them

Lynn -







I’ve taken a walk on a meandering career path. After I graduated from nursing school, I worked in a level-one trauma emergency room. The whole adrenaline-junkie atmosphere – I just loved it. But after three years of intensity, I got a little burnt out, so I switched over to a teaching hospital, also a level-one trauma center in the same city, and I tried operating room nursing for two years. By that time, I was so thoroughly burnt out that only five years after graduating from nursing school, I left my profession and for 18 years worked in the travel industry.

I knew I was a time bomb ticking when I faced that I was using a common coping strategy amongst nurses, especially emergency rooms nurses –“gallows” humor. This is where sometimes inappropriate emotional responses surface, almost like a defense mechanism. I wasn’t able to respond appropriately to sad situations or provide the kind of emotional support the patients’ and their families might need.

In retrospect, I was what I would call a party girl during my first stint as a nurse. I blew off steam by partying hard during my off hours. I was just too focused on having fun and not focused enough on the seriousness of being a nurse. It may have been my way to deal with the stress of working in a trauma center and the constant state of adrenaline.

I left nursing because I didn’t know how to cope, but I never stopped wanting to be a nurse. I maintained my nursing license throughout my 18 year diversion taking continuing education courses every few years. I’m glad I did because in the aftermath of September 11, with all the cutbacks in travel I was able to rejoin my original profession – as a prepared nurse.

Getting back into nursing after nearly two decades away has been an interesting and positive experience. I’m in a completely different environment now. It’s interesting because when I left, most of the nurses were my age. Well, now that I’m back, the majority of nurses are still my age. I’m with a very mature group of women –mostly women – and I like their values. I have so much to learn from them because they’ve been nurses now for twenty or thirty years.

The bottom line is, I work because I need to support myself and currently, I work in a clinic for MS patients. I find a lot of joy in my job - from my peers, my environment, and my patients – they call forth the nurse in me, offering comfort and counseling to people dealing with this dreadful disease in a loving form of caring.

There was a patient I talked to last week, a young mother with two little girls, six and eight years of age. She is losing strength, and she’s worried about not being able to see her daughters grow up. I just spent a few minutes with her and I said, “Let your daughters see your weaknesses..”."I find a lot of joy in my job - from my peers, my environment, and my patients - they call forth the nurse in me." Let your daughters learn how to care for you. And let them become the women that you want them to be when they grow up, whether or not you’re here to see that. And she was just so touched by that. I don’t know where that came from – my own soul, I suppose – but I was thinking about my sister who has daughters about the same age. What a nightmare to think that my sister wouldn’t be able to see her babies grow up. So I thought, what could I offer this woman? Let them be the women that you want them to be, that’s what came to my mind, and she was touched. That means so much to me, to just be able to reach out and make my patients find purpose for themselves and in their situation.

It's the giving of oneself. When you give out of experience, your own personal experience and how you care about people, it’s so meaningful for them and for you. You get back so much more than you could possibly give.

A flight attendant taught me a trick one time. I was watching a passenger in first class who was being difficult. I was flying on business, and the woman next to me was a deadheading flight attendant. So I asked her, “How on earth do you put up with people like that?” And she said, “I remind myself that I only have to be with them for a couple of hours, and somebody at the end of this flight has to live with them.” I find that attitude works in nursing as well. I can deal with anything for a few hours, because I don’t have to live with it 24/7.

You rally the people that you love, and the people who love you, whether it's your coworkers, your kids, your family, or your friends. Let them tell you how great you are. I have wonderful friends and a loving family. A friend of mine always says, “We have our nature family and our nurture family.” Fortunately, mine are both excellent. I have my cats. I relax a lot – I don’t party as much. I guess you could say I’m boring now, and it's very easy. I’m not in the adrenaline mode anymore.

Power Strategies: Making a Difference, Autonomy, Love
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