Mike - An Outstretchd Hand

Mike -







When I first began working as a nurse, I had a lot of doubts and anxiety. I questioned whether or not I could really do it. The responsibility of having a people’s lives basically in my hands nearly paralyzed me with fear.

Now that I’ve gained some experience, however, I’ve also gained more confidence. I have faced the worst thing that can happen to a nurse, which is when somebody dies on your watch.
“When a new nurse reaches out his or her hand to you, all you have to do is reach yours back..” In this case, I was transferring a man from his wheelchair and he collapsed in my arms. It was a dramatic situation, and rather surreal because I had been working as an LPN for a couple of years but had never even seen a dead body before. For a moment I just froze, and then suddenly everything kicked into action. I called for help and an RN responded, I was just so grateful that she was there. She took control of the situation until the physician’s assistant arrived and was encouraging me throughout the whole ordeal.

Once you get through the sequence of a full code, your confidence builds and things just kind of progress naturally. Afterwards, she continued to support me, which was really great because this man had been involved in a car accident and I ended up having to talk to the police medical examiner. This nurse told me, “Everything’s going to be OK. Don’t worry about things. Just think back and make sure your charting’s good.” It was really nice to feel like somebody was on my side.

I’m much more confident today, but there are still times when I feel like I don’t know everything. It’s a healthy fear of the unknown, though. That’s what drives me to keep learning. Even on my off days, I’ll pick up a nursing book and read. You can never know enough.

One thing I want to guard against is becoming desensitized. I have to constantly re-examine myself, check my sincerity, and check in with myself that I truly care about the person lying in that hospital bed. I remind myself that the person has a family that cares about them. I have to care about them, and it has to go beyond the paycheck, I want to care, and I think all nurses should want to care. If you get to the point where you don’t care anymore, I think it’s time to reassess your job because it really affects how successful you are as a nurse.

When I’m having a hard day and I feel myself shutting down, I try to take a moment out for myself. If I have a patient who is lashing out at me, I don’t take it personally, even though sometimes it’s difficult not to. Just because you don’t like somebody doesn’t mean you can’t respect them or give them their dignity. That’s the hard part for people in the medical field, as well as for police officers and firefighters. It just doesn’t matter who you’re dealing with; you have to always remember it’s still a human life.

You have to inspire yourself sometimes. I’ve got a family at home with kids. I’d much rather be with them than in the hospital sometimes, but that’s what inspires me. If it was me lying in that bed, I would sure want somebody who was dedicated and really focused on what they need to do to care for me. There have been times when I have gone back, after punching out for the day, and just sat and talked to some patients – mostly homeless men. The experience I want them to have is the feeling that somebody actually gives a damn. They’re not just a room number.

I’ve been an RN for a little less than a year, and I have just begun precepting – that is, mentoring new nurses. When I orient someone, I emphasize the importance of being positive. The people in the bed really need that, but your co-workers certainly need it too. I want to help others become the most well-rounded nurses they can be, do things in moderation, be diligent and focused, but not too focused, because you can lose the caring aspects of your personality. And what I mean by moderation is to study hard and give the job everything you’ve got, but remember, you have a life out there, beyond people who are sick or dying.

Nurses who have been around for a while need to remember what it was like for them when they first got on the floor. They should remember how scared they were because, let’s face it, everyone is scared at the beginning. I bless that RN who supported me when that man collapsed and died in my arms – she is the shining example of how mentorship can be such a positive influence. And it doesn’t take much effort. When a new nurse reaches out his or her hand to you, all you have to do is reach yours back.

Power Strategies: Boundaries, Tenacity, Mastery
go back to main page