Debi - Lessons from Frank

Debi -







It was my mother who really inspired me to be a nurse, and not just because of her white dress and cap. She would discuss her day with us when we’d be sitting around the dinner table, telling us all the different things she had experienced. As she described her patients and the different situations she faced, she used those stories as lessons for my siblings and me: this particular person got shot because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were cautionary tales. But I was always more interested in where the bullet went, how deep it went, and how it was removed.

So when I first got into nursing, my mom was the image I had in my mind. But things were different back in her day. At that time, nurses followed whatever the doctors said, no questions asked. They just went along with it. Today we have changed so much. Nurses are now thinking machines. We’re not just listening employees anymore. We go to school. We analyze things. We work together as teams. And we work together with doctors as partners. Nursing also used to be a profession that only females chose. But today, males and females are getting into it, and both of them are using the opportunity to its fullest.

I was very fortunate to have a fantastic mentor when I started nursing. She was always there to answer questions for me and help me through things. And she chose to tell me, “Never leave here without learning something each day.” At first, I didn’t truly understand what she meant by that. I just thought she meant as long as I was a newbie, I should be learning something every day. But she actually meant that for the rest of my career. And she was right. There is so much out there to learn and every time you think that is all, there’s something else coming around the corner.

Today’s graduates – I’m not sure if they’re seeing the real world versus seeing it on paper. On paper it looks like it follows a pattern, but nursing really doesn’t. You have to be flexible. You may start off in one direction but head off in another, all before you can take a coffee break. I see the challenge these new nurses face trying to grasp all of the information being thrown at them. That’s why mentors are so important.

I think new nurses create other problems for themselves by wanting to specialize too soon. They want to do pediatrics, for example, and they think that’s what nursing is. But that’s just one small piece of it.“it’s OK to push the limit, to make a decision for myself … do whatever it takes to promote healing” When I hear them complaining that they have to float, I always tell them to look at it as a learning experience. Who knows, maybe after they get up there on that new floor, they may actually like it. But I tell them now is not a time to settle. Now is a time to explore and find out what’s out there. I am in orthopedics now, but it’s not a specialty I would have chosen. I was never attracted to orthopedics, actually, I learned I actually liked it while I was being a float. I can do all the other areas of nursing, but orthopedics is where my heart is.

One of the biggest lessons I learned early on in my career was that it’s OK to push the limit, to make a decision for myself. This lesson didn’t come from my mom or my mentor, but from a man named Frank. I was a new RN and new to the floor and he was a patient that I could hear crying at night. One night he was crying out pretty loudly. He wasn’t my patient, so I went to his nurse and asked what was the matter. His nurse said, “He’s dying in his room, so we pulled the curtain around him.” So I asked, “Can’t we go in and do something?” And she said, “No, there’s nothing else to do for him. The family elected to let him go.”

I went into his room anyway because his crying really got to me. He held onto my hand and looked at me and said, “I just don’t want to go alone.” In that moment, my work got pushed behind and I spent his final hours with him holding his hand until he finally closed his eyes and settled down. I didn’t care if I had to stay three hours, or through the next day, as long as Frank was comfortable. That is why I went into nursing in the first place, to care for people. So I think that was the best thing I’ve ever done in nursing – to hold Frank’s hand when he needed me to do so. He died the following morning and I stayed with him the whole time. I felt like I had done my job that night. I couldn’t prevent him from dying, but I could help him emotionally by holding his hand.

The other nurse didn’t resent me for what I did. In fact, she was grateful. She was a senior nurse and didn’t have the time to do what I did. But I have to say that if the same situation occurred to me today, I would still make time for the patient.

I’ll always remember Frank. He’s my guide that makes me stop sometimes and think, “Hey, wait a minute. Remember the patient.” We have to help the patient all the way around. We can’t just take care of the pain, or the wound, or the illness. We have to help every single part, including the emotions. To me that plays a big role, because if a patient cannot handle what’s going on emotionally, he’s not going to heal. I need to do whatever it takes to promote healing. If that means staying late to hold someone’s hand like Frank’s so he could die well, well then that’s exactly what I will do.

Power Strategies:
go back to main page